Thursday, February 28, 2013

Valentine Flowers


The week before Valentine’s Day I was walking into work and I approached the door at the same time as another co-worker.  Previous conversations with this individual had never been more than five minutes and they were always about work.    As we entered the building there was an awkward moment just because we don’t know each other well.   In an effort to make small talk, I asked her if she had any fun plans for Valentine’s day.  I thought in my head, “That’s a simple conversation starter.”  After a slight hesitation, she looked at me with her deep blue eyes and blurted out, “My husband is giving me a divorce.”  Uh, um, uh, what?!  That was NOT the response I had expected!  The awkwardness of the moment suddenly multiplied.  I felt sick.  My heart broke for her. 
She said she hadn’t really told anyone, except for her team at work.  What caused her to share this deeply personal information with me?  Had she been thinking about the upcoming holiday and the heart wrenching pain that she would experience that day?  Did she view me as someone she could trust?  Was I just in the right place at the right time for her open up?  Was it simply the question I asked?   I told her how sorry I was and her blue eyes and my hazel eyes welled up as we shared an unexpected moment of sympathetic emotion.  What was I supposed to say?  How could I let her know how truly heartsick I felt for her?  She walked away to face the rest of the day with a counterfeit smile on the outside as her insides were being crushed with heart break.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her all day.  The next day I continued to think about her and her situation.  I thought about my question to her.  I thought about her Valentine’s Day.  Instead of the typical Valentine Roses, she was getting a slap in the face.  My thoughts then led to a single mother I work with that is struggling to survive raise four children, including a rebellious teenage son.  She would not be receiving flowers.    
I started to think about the many women I care about that, for one reason or another, would be experiencing heartache on Valentine’s Day instead of flowers.  I thought about my young widowed friend whose husband passed away a few years ago.  I thought about many single moms I know.  I thought about many unmarried women, who, perhaps have never received vibrant Valentine Roses. 
As I thought of what I could do to show that I really did feel sorry for my co-worker, I decided to get flowers for her.  I was grateful for sweet inspiration.  Instead of getting flowers for Valentine’s Day, I gave flowers.  I found joy on the day of love.  The single mother of four said, as I gave her the flowers, “Those are probably the only flowers I will be getting today.”  Honestly, all women deserve flowers.  The reality, many women, for various reasons will not be getting flowers.  After my experience on this Valentine’s Day this year, in the future, I will worry more about giving flowers rather than getting them.  


Under the mask of sarcasm, Valentine’s Day is often called “Single’s Awareness Day.” Ha ha.  Funny, sort of.  This actually kind of bugs me.  As I was writing this post, I ironically realized that “Single’s Awareness Day” is an acronym.  S.A.D.  Hmm.  Now that is funny.  Sort of.  Funny and sort of sad (ok, maybe the pun was intended).  Sad that a day intended to celebrate love actually yields to much loneliness, depression, and sorrow. 
Last year, I made a decision to NOT harbor my thoughts and feeling on Valentine’s Day about my singleness.  Lucky for me, my friend Tracy, married a guy with the last name, “Valentine.”  She now has four young boys and I told her that I wanted to spend my Valentine’s Day with my favorite Valentines.  I had a pizza party with her family.  I realized I could choose to stay home and focus on my singleness and be depressed on that day or I could create a way to celebrate and show my love and appreciation for others.  This year I was lucky to be a in a play that performed on Valentine’s Day, so I really didn’t have the option to be sitting at home alone feeling sorry for myself.  Even though my night was occupied, I made an effort to take a treat to my little four year old buddy from my ward, Molly (and her siblings), and another dear family with six children that I adore.  I would have liked to have done more, but I didn’t have much time between work and my play. 
            Next Valentine’s Day, whether you are single or married, let’s make an effort to show love and appreciation to those we truly care about.  Let us also seek out those with hearts that need healing and hope. 


    “As we extend our hands and hearts toward others in Christlike love, something wonderful happens to us. Our own spirits become healed, more refined, and stronger. We become happier, more peaceful, and more receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit.”
     Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, ‘You Are My Hands,’ April General Conference 2010


Flower HINT:  My co-worker pulled me aside this week and said that she got flowers from her daughter, but they had died.  The flowers I gave her were still alive and she expressed her sincere gratitude for my sympathetic gesture.  Here is the secret of keeping flowers alive: cut the bottom of the stems off so that they are fresh and put them in a vase filled with SPRITE instead of water. 

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Enhancing Scripture Study



A few weeks ago, I spoke at a Relief Society Meeting about ideas to enhance personal and family scripture study.  Below is is the handout I gave with a list of ideas that have blessed my life.  I went into more detail about each idea at the meeting, but hopefully some of these ideas can bless your life.    I know I owe much of my happiness to the Word (Alma 44:5).
 
SCRIPTURE STUDY IDEAS

Elder David A. Bednar,  New Era April 2006
Principle 1:   Pray for understanding, and invite the help of the Holy Ghost.
Principle 2:   Work.
Principle 3:   Be consistent.
Principle 4:   Ponder.
Principle 5:   Write down impressions, thoughts, and feelings.


Ideas to make scripture study more meaningful and testimony building:
  • Pray (before, during, and after) Praying before was obvious, but praying after increased my gratitude for the scriptures.  
  • Study in the early morning hours
  • Avoid reading in bed
  • Look for:
                        -Lists ( 88:123-124  wo’s  II Nephi 9: 30-39 )
                        -Opposites (Alma 36:12-21  torment/pain, pain no more/joy)
                        -“If…then”   statements  (D&C 5:24, sometime need to add in "then")
                                                 -Repeated words/phrases: (i.e. “Faith” Alma 32,Ether 12, “choose” 2 Nephi 2:27-29)
 
                        -Connecting words  (Alma 49:20 prepared, 26-27 prepare--delivered)
  • Discover how the words apply to you, now
  • Ask Questions (i.e. Alma 22:15  "What am I willing to give up for the Gospel?"  I thought I was funny when I wrote this one, "Why can we sing Hymn #30 when we can't say this?" II Nephi 28:25)
  •  Memorize  “Great power can come from memorizing scriptures. To memorize a scripture is to forge a new friendship. It is like discovering a new individual who can help in time of need, give inspiration and comfort, and be a source of motivation for needed change.” Elder Richard G. Scott, General Conference, Oct 2011
  • Liken it to yourself and your situation  (Alma 43:46 "felt it was their duty" My duties are...)
  • Consider the intent of the author (Why did he include this? What does he want me to learn?)
  • Use a dictionary to look up words
  • Listen to or sing uplifting music to prepare the mood
  • Color Code Topics (i.e. Faith=Yellow, Righteous Leadership=Green, Love/Joy=Red, Prayer=Purple---you choose topics and you chose colors!)
  • Conference Talks—mark/highlight your Conference Ensign—write favorite quotes on the back cover
  • Study Preach My Gospel, For the Strength of Youth Pamphlet, The Living Christ, The Family Proclamation
  • Listen to CES Firesides, BYU and BYU-Idaho Devotionals, etc.
  • Put the scriptures/Conference talks on your Ipod, or other electronic devices (Listen while you drive, get ready in the morning, doing housework, etc.)
  • Write impressions in the margins and use the blank pages in the back of your scriptures
  • Use the lds.org   journal  (need to create a login account)
  •  Be consistent--Same place, same time
  • Have a set amount of time rather than set amount of chapters to read
  • Get a scripture journal and write down impressions, thought, questions, etc.(this is one of the most powerful--you will surprise yourself by what you write)
  • Make your own list of favorites in the back of your scriptures (I also have a list of "Beautiful verses" and a "Trials" list)
  • Make it fun and enjoyable  (I have my own "humor" section I made)
  • Send scriptures and quotes to others through text messages and email (SOTD)  Scripture Of The Day
  • Don't give up!

“You will find that as you write down precious impressions, often more will come.”   
Elder Richard G. Scott, To Acquire Knowledge and the Strength to Use It Wisely,” 
Ensign, June 2002, 32–34






ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Talks:
 Susan Jones and Barbara Thompson   “Stand in Awe and Be Still: Spiritual Receptiveness,”  BYU Women's Conference (May 1, 2009)  (Sister Jones' talk is so powerful it is one of my all time favorites--be sure to listen to this talk!)

Elder David A. Bednar ,    “Because We Have Them before Our Eyes”   New Era April 2006

Elder David A. Bednar,  “Watching with All Perseverance,” April Conference 2010

Elder M. Russell Ballard,  “Be Strong in the Lord, and in the Power of His Might"  CES Fireside for Young Adults, 3 March 2002

Elder Richard G. Scott,  “To Acquire Knowledge and the Strength to Use It Wisely,” Ensign, June 2002, 32–34.

President Ezra Taft Benson, “The Power of the Word,” Ensign, May 1986, 79

Book:
Gene R. Cook   Searching the Scriptures—Bringing Power to Personal and Family Study”



Here is a scripture reading chart to color in each day your read.  I gave it to my nieces and nephews and they loved it.  One year I gave it to my parents and they read EVERY DAY!  

http://www.mormonshare.com/sites/default/files/handouts/scripture-reading-chart-2013.pdf