Shopping

     Shopping.  I hate it.  Many women thrill at the thought of an evening out with a friend "shopping."  Not many more things make me feel like puking--well, maybe sea food.  

    One of the reasons I have such an aversion to the activity, is I've never really had an excess of money to frivolously spend--I have had to be more frugal.  My mom would only let us buy school clothes from the sale rack--she refused to pay full price for anything.  That habit has carried over.  I tend to live on the frugal side.  

    Another reason is, I am right between the largest of the kid section and the smallest of the adult section in clothing size.  It is super annoying.  Every time I find something "totally cute," they don't have it in my size--plenty of medium, large, and extra large, but the store just happens to be out of that "totally cute" item in small.  Or, the small is too big—and they don’t carry extra small.  Or, if the item DOES come in my size and it looks “darling” on the rack, in the dressing room, to my dismay and frustration, it looks weird on me.  I’m not a swearing woman, but I have come close in a department store dressing room.  After feeling like I have wasted way too much time and leaving the store disgruntled and empty handed, I vow to never go shopping again.   (OK, fine, a little DISCLAIMER: On a rare occasion I have been known to find something in the kid section that works...NOTE:  kid sizes are often less expensive!  Score!  But that is RARE, more frequently I leave fuming with frazzled hair).  Maybe those women who LOVE shopping have better luck in the department store than I have had.  Someday, maybe I will graduate from a training bra.  Just kidding...sort of.  

     I can’t think of a job I would hate more than working at a clothing store (well, maybe waitressing).  Ugh.  Hanging up clothes all day.  I’m lucky if I get that done at home with my own clothing, but hanging up unwanted clothes tried on by shoppers.  Ew!

     There is one thing however, that I do love shopping for:  BABY CLOTHES!  In an attempt to go “Back-to-School” shopping or find some shoes or a socks (I always need socks), I often find myself meandering past the Infant/Baby Section.  I LOVE BABY CLOTHES!  I think I often spend more time in the Baby Section than the adult (or kid section).  There are so many cute outfits for babies!  Some of them make me smile out loud (yes, I just said smile out loud).  I love to imagine sweet, precious babies made to look even cuter in infant clothes. 

    I love baby clothes so much, even if a friend has “registered” for diapers or a bathtub for a baby shower, I HAVE to buy baby clothes.   I love watching the mother-to-be open and hold up cute onesies or dresses or baby boy swim wear or pajamas from other friends. 

 

 

    A little while ago, I was in the Baby Section looking for a cute outfit for a baby shower.   Out of the blue, I started to tear up, thinking that I may never experience a baby shower.  I may never have my own babies to dress up in cute outfits.  I may never have my own baby to cuddle and coo at me.  I may never experience the joys and hardships of pregnancy.  Not being married yet, the chances of me giving birth to my own children are really slimming.  It makes me a little scared, anxious, and sad.  I’m not giving up hope, but I have to face the harsh reality that I may not bear and rear children in this life.  My heart aches and longs for this privilege.   

      I truly thrill and rejoice when people I love give birth or adopt newborns.  But that day in the Baby Section, I allowed my self to shed tears and recognize the reality of unfulfilled dreams. 

       In my heartache for motherhood, I cannot allow my circumstances to stop me from mothering.  I must find ways to mother others.  I am grateful for mothers who have allowed me to help mother their children.  Although I do not have children of my own, I hope to be known as someone who as a “Mother Heart.”

“A woman who treasures motherhood on earth will treasure motherhood in the world to come, and “where [her] treasure is, there will [her] heart be also” (Matt. 6:21). By developing a mother heart, each girl and woman prepares for her divine, eternal mission of motherhood…. In my experience I have seen that some of the truest mother hearts beat in the breasts of women who will not rear their own children in this life, but they know that “all things must come to pass in their time” and that they “are laying the foundation of a great work” (D&C 64:32–33).”

              -Sister Julie B. Beck

               General Conference, April2004

FYI:  Here is another rip off:  Every time I have seen a shirt or outfit that mentions the word “aunt,” it is always super plain and boring or even ugly.  “World’s Greatest Aunt” but ugliest ever outfit.  Note to clothing designers:  If you want to sell your product to proud aunts, create something cute and attractive for the auntie to buy.

Ish...Ish

     Every time we visited my Grandma, we knew that on top of her fridge, she would have a plastic plate filled with Jolley Ranchers.  We knew that at sometime during the visit at Grandma's house, one of the kids would build up enough courage to ask if we could have one.  Of course we would get one (or two or more), but we had to ask to be polite.
     My Grandpa always had  a pack of Peppermint or Wintergreen Lifesavers in his pocket and he would pop the top one off with his thumb and give it to the grandkids.
     My mom loves to take her grandkids to McDonalds.  She was even nicknamed, "Grandma Donalds" by some of the kids.  One summer, three of my sisters all had baby boys--born June, July, and August.  I remember a picture with all of them in their car seats at McDonald's--she likes to start them young.
     When my oldest niece was not old enough to be talking yet, my dad would approach her, wrinkle his pocket so she could hear a wrapper and suddenly produce a package of fruit snacks.  Since then, he always has a package of fruit snacks in his pocket or his car for the grandkids.  He has been named by a few of them, "Grandpa Treat."  The kids love it.  He loves it!
      A few years ago, I went to visit my friend, Julie, and her children.  I just happened to have some Swedish Fish in my car and I passed them out to the kids.   The next time I visited her, one of the kids asked if I had any more Swedish Fish.  Since then, I have to come prepared...or I am in real trouble.  The first thing these kids ask me, is if I brought any Swedish Fish.  I have learned and I have an emergency stash in my car.  There are now seven kids in the family.  I LOVE these kids!   I kind of feel like they are adopted nieces and nephews.  The three year old was a late talker, but every time he would see me, he would say, "Ish? Ish?"  He knew:  my face equalled Swedish Fish.  In fact,  I think "Ish" was one of his first words.
     Now, I am not advocating for sugar or fast food, but sometimes Grandparents, aunts, and adoptive aunts need little treat traditions.  And you know what Willy Wonka would sing, "The Candy Man can cause he mixes it with LOVE and makes the world taste good."
  


"...traditions are formed over time as we repeat the same actions over and over again. As we are steady and unchanging in doing that which is good, our traditions become firmly rooted in righteousness."   
                                     -Sister Cheryl C. Lant,
                                     General Conference April 2008

How Old Is Your Daughter?

     Conversation starters between women often begin with: "How many children do you have?"  When I pose this question, I am genuinely interested in finding out.  When the the question is asked of me, however, sometimes there is an moment of awkward silence when I respond, "None, I'm not married."  The other woman usually doesn't know how to respond to this and conversation stops for a moment. There is a look in her eye that hints that she doesn't know if she hurt my feelings by asking and she tries to quickly change the subject. I have found other ways to respond that question, in my attempt to avoid the thick silence that I know will permeate after she finds out I am childless.   So, when I am asked, "And, how many children do you have?"  I often respond, "I don't know!"  I have received some pretty weird looks until I finish, "I'm not sure, 'cause they are all still in heaven--I haven't found their daddy yet."  (I mean, their daddy hasn't found me!)

        In my church, I serve with the youth group, particularly the girls ages 12-18.  I LOVE it!  I love the girls and the other leaders I serve with--the girls organization is called "Young Women's." (YW)  Each week I attend their class at church and we also have a week night activity.  I have really enjoyed getting to know the girls.  Spending time with them has truly been one of the greatest blessings in my life.  

         One thing I started recently, I offer to give a ride to any of the YW that would like to go to the temple before school.  The temple has blessed my life so much that I want to make sure they can get there--especially the ones too young to drive themselves.  So, I designated one morning a week to offer a ride to any of them that can come.  (While I was there last week, I over heard one of the temple workers say that 800 ordinances had been performed by the youth before 7:00 a.m. that morning!)  

         A few days ago, I was at the temple in the wee hours of the morning with one of my YW,   (I will call her "M").   Another girl that was in the temple saw me talking to M and asked, "How old is your daughter?"  I told her that M was not my daughter, I was just her YW leader.  I kept hearing that question in my head all day, "How old is your daughter?"   That might have hurt someone else's feelings--digging deeper the wounds of unfulfilled dreams, but I took it as a deep compliment.  I love M!  I would love her to be my daughter.  I would love to be her mom.  

     I love all of my YW--as if they were my own daughters.  I claim them all--they are mine!   Because I have more freedom with my time, I can do things, like take them to the temple in the morning--in fact, if I did have my own teenage daughters, that is exactly what I would be doing with them!  I am so grateful to have 16 daughters!  I may not have given birth to them, but they are mine.  I have a deep love for them.  I want them to be happy.  I want them to succeed.   I want them to feel loved.  I want them to feel God's love for them.   I want them to develop a love for Jesus Christ and an understanding of what He has done for them.  With them, I have hiked, camped, snowshoed, sang, toilet papered, cooked, danced, laughed, cried, served, had deep spiritual conversations, played practical jokes, and more--all of which I dreamed I would do with my own daughters.  

      A few years ago, I lived in another city and I served in YW in another congregation.  Even though I didn't serve for very long, I still count those girls as MINE.  Some of them are in their 20's now...one of them has her mission call to Peru!

      I am grateful that the mothers of my YW have shared their daughters with me.  This Mother's Day, I am grateful for the privilege and opportunity to mother MY daughters.  How old is my daughter?  Well, I have several...they are between 12 and 18...and some in their 20's.  

"As daughters of God and disciples of Jesus Christ, we [must] 'act according to those sympathies which God has planted' in our hearts. Our sphere of influence isn’t limited to our own family members.....'whenever a woman strengthens the faith of a child, she contributes to the strength of a family—now and in the future.' "

  -Sister Carole M. Stephens, General Woman's Session of General Conference  April 2015 

PS If you missed them, here are my Mother's Day posts from last year (it was fun for me to revisit them):

Mother's Day Thoughts 

Mother's Day Mishaps

Turkey Fingers

    Last year at Thanksgiving time, my friend's daughter (B) had made a Thanksgiving craft in school. She traced her hand and made a turkey out of it.  On each finger, the children were supposed to write something they were thankful for.  On one of the fingers, B had written "That my mom is friends with Melanie."  It melted my heat when I heard this!
     I have thought about this many times.  I have thought about how thankful I am for this little girl and for her siblings and her mom.
    Today in church, I sat in back of B and remind her about her turkey craft from last year and how much it meant to me what she wrote.  During the meeting, she came back and sat by me.  A few minutes later, her six year old sister (M) also came back to sit by me and snuggled up.  By the end of the meeting, their three-year old brother joined us for a minute--long enough to get a picture of Jesus and some gum.
    From behind me, another neighbor girl (E)  reached over the pew with a pad of paper and asked me to write some "really good scriptures" on it that she could mark in her scriptures.  Several months ago I sat by E during Sacrament Meeting and I helped her mark the scriptures the speakers shared, as well as some other "good ones."  I think that too often we tell children how important the scriptures are but because they don't have enough experience with scriptures to know where the "really good" ones are, unless we show them.   They are just pages with words.  As adults, I feel we can do a better job of helping them OPEN the scriptures and help the know HOW TO MARK them.  It made me feel happy that she thought to ask me because I had shown her before.
      M then drew a picture of me and her next to a Christmas tree.  It said, "M and Melanie a Happy Christmis on Christmas tim can we hav christmis to Gethr   Yes ___   no___."  Then she asked me if we could have a "late night" sometime soon.  I felt so much love from and for these kids!
     At this Thanksgiving time, although I don't have my own children to snuggle and love, I am thankful for several children that I love and love me that I can name on my "turkey fingers."

"To fathers and mothers, to grandfathers and grandmothers, and to those without children of their own who lovingly nurture children and youth, my counsel is to speak more frequently about Jesus Christ." -Elder Neil L. Andersen, General Conference, April 2010

    This Christmas season, let us "speak more frequently about Jesus" with children in our sphere of influence that as they feel our love, they may also feel His.

Go Scare

     One day I was with my niece and two nephews in parking lot of IKEA, waiting for their mother in their mini-van.  Kids don't really enjoy waiting in the parking lot for their mothers.   Restless siblings in confined spaces often creates quarrels.  Before a  broken bone or back kicking took place, I had to come  up with something to keep them distracted.  So I came up with a game.  "Go Scare."

"Go Scare"

     I dealt out everyone invisible cards.  Each card had a Halloween picture on it (vampire, witch's brew, graveyard, ghost, etc.).  I made them hold up their hands like they were holding up a several cards.  "Go Scare" is played like "Go Fish."   I would say, "Give me all your bat wings." My nephew was to look at his "cards."  If he had any bat wings cards, he had to give them to me--if he didn't, he would say, "go scare" instead of "go fish."  I could either take the top card from the invisible pile and it was the next person's turn, or I could "look" at the card and say, "I got what I wanted" and go again.  It kept my nieces and nephews occupied until my sister returned.  It has now become a Halloween tradition to play "Go Scare."  You get to make up what cards you have---basically, you can use any that is found around Halloween time--skeletons, pumpkins, trick-or-treat candy, etc.   One more thing, since it is a Halloween game, you can cheat.  

     I taught this game to my students (I am the Drama/Theatre Specialist at two elementary schools).  Some of them really got into it, pulling poker faces and shifty eyes.  Even some of the kindergartners caught on.  They were very creative and some of them even said, "Give me all your Mildew Roses."  Mildew Rose is my witch character I created.  I told the students they could play it at home or in the car...some of them followed through with that homework assignment because the next day when I taught one of their siblings, they said they played it the previous night at home already. 

     Just so you know, I own the copyright to this game and if ever anyone invites you to play a good old game of Go Scare, now you know who made it up.  Please do not be dishonest and play this game without sending me royalties.  

     Sorry I didn't post this before Halloween, but now you have it for next year.  

Mother's Day Thoughts

      A few years ago, a friend that I go walking with told me about the National Mother of the Year Convention held in Utah.  Her husband was asked to be a judge, so she was invited to a dinner where she met some of the women nominees and heard many of their amazing stories.  She told me that Sheri Dew was the speaker.   My friend said when Sheri Dew was asked to speak, her immediate response was to decline--why would a childless women be asked to speak at such a convention?  Just after telling her secretary to decline the invitation, Sheri Dew felt a strong impression that she should stop her secretary’s decline and she should be the speaker.  Her tribute to mothers was a call to return to teaching the values of virtue and integrity. 

     I found an article that Sheri Dew wrote in the Desert News about her address at the conference, titled, “The Influenceof Mothers.”  She also mentioned her trial of not having her own children, but the urgency she feels to fight for motherhood.  I, too, feel an urgency to defend motherhood and to buoy up and support mothers around me.  Nothing in this world is an influential as a mother.  I feel an internal drive to seek out opportunities to use my inborn gifts as a women, to nurture children and youth within my sphere of influence.  As a daughter of God and a member of His eternal family, how can I hold back?    

     Here is Sheri Dew’s article from the newspaper.  As I read it, I felt more empowered to do my part in strengthen mothers around me.  So, I am passing it on to you…

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700133244/The-Influence-of-Mothers.html

        If Sheri Dew can have the courage to speak at a National Mother of the Year Convention, what can we be doing in our small ways to promote and protect the virtue of motherhood? 

     A few years ago a co-worker of mine asked me if Mother’s Day was a hard day for me.  One year I had a really tender experience that changed the way I look at Mother’s Day. 

     After finishing an internship one year, I moved back into my parents’ house, as I was waiting to move into a friend’s condo.  This was the ward I grew up in.  The Bishop asked me speak in Sacrament Meeting…on Mother’s Day!   After getting my assignment, I re-read a favorite talk of mine by Sheri Dew, “Are We Not All Mothers?”   From her talk I shared, “Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it certainly is that.  It is the essence of who we are as women.  It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.” I really felt that in my heart.

     Also, instead of being a day filled with intense pain and a desire to hide, I reflect on the women in my life who have mothered me.  

     My Primary teacher, Sister Best, who encouraged me to bear my testimony in sacrament meeting. I think that may have been where my testimony began.  Her son died in a horse-riding accident and she held onto the Gospel  and God for comfort.   

     Sister Vanderstein, who loved our Sunday School class, even after we went through a dozen teachers that year--we were ridiculously rowdy and uncontrollable.  Her example of staying strong and coming to church, even though her husband was not a member of the church has lasted with me to this day. 

     Sister Sargent and Sister Belnap for acting crazy at Girl’s Camp—for teaching me that living the Gospel was truly fun and worth it. 

     The rock solid testimony born by Sister Allen, right after her son was born with a major heart defect and down syndrome. 

    Sister Florence for her love of the Gospel and testimony shared Sunday during lessons.

     Mrs. Fox, my 2^nd and 4th grade teacher.  She believed in me and I felt her love.

     Mr. Bodrero, who whipped our 6^th grade class into shape with love—our behavior caused two teachers to quit during the school year. 

     I thought about many of my Young Women’s leaders, Primary teachers, school teachers, friends’ mothers, like Sister Cash and Sister Terry, who opened their homes to me and made me feel loved from the time their families moved into the neighborhood and all the time I spent with their daughters. 

     I also thought about an aunt that still calls me every year on my birthday. 

     In my mind, I went down the street of neighbors and reflected on the influence of the many, many women who helped shape me; who helped guide me; who nurtured me.  I probably wasn't the easiest kid to love. My heart burst with gratitude for many women who loved me unconditionally and saw my potential.

     I give a shout out to all women who nurture in any capacity.  I declare that women do not need to bear children to mother.

     This Mother’s Day, I encourage you to reflect on that many women who have nurtured and mothered you.  Choose one, reach out to her and let her know. 

     One woman said, “Mother’s Day is not merely a time to remember those who bear children, but a celebration of the essence of who we are as women.”

    Last year in Sacrament Meeting, my Bishop's wife gave a talk on Mother's Day and she said, 

     "We are never too old, too young, too single, or too married to mother." 

      I found a beautiful article that shares some similar thoughts in the the Ensign from last month.  Read it if you haven't already: https://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/04/celebrate-nurturing?lang=eng

     “Every girl and woman who makes and keeps sacred covenants can have a mother heart.  There is not limit to what a woman with a mother heart can accomplish.  Righteous women have changed the course of history and will continue to do so, and their influence will spread and grow exponentially throughout the eternities.”

Sister Julie B. Beck, Ensign, May 2004

Mother's Day Mishaps

     A few years ago, my friend was attending a family ward and her Bishop, bless his heart, approached this day without careful consideration.  He wasn't sure what to do with “the single people” in his ward.  Because there was a condo complex, he had several “singles.”  He thought he had a great idea…get the single sisters involved by having them be the ones to pass out the flowers for the Mother’s Day gift after Sacrament Meeting to all the mothers.  True story!  I’m sure his intentions were innocent and well-intended, but really???  Dear Bishop, how much salt can you rub into a festering cankered  open wound??  Please be sensitive to those of us whose hearts  break a little every second Sunday in May.    

    Although I believe, as Sheri Dew said in 2001  “we are all mothers” and we should proudly stand with other mothers and accept our Mother’s Day gift with pride, there have been moments of awkwardness in the past, like when the thirteen year old boy with the plant approached my row.  His eye brow furrowed as he realized I was not married and didn't have kids.  Um.  Uh.  What should he do?  He was instructed to "give them to all the Mothers."  I wasn't mother, so maybe his should pass up my row.  As I reached out my hand to accept it, he pulled back.  Poor little guy.  And poor me!  I laugh now, but it was not one of my most favorite moments. 

    Please prepare the youth, or whoever is passing out the Mother’s Day gifts and let them know they should pass a gift to ALL the women—prevent a Mother’s Day mishap. 

     Last year, with an effort to not feel sorry for myself and feeling truly grateful for good mothers, I was wishing the dear women at my church a Happy Mother’s Day as I greeted them.  One lady, bless her heart, thanked me and went to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day as well, but hesitated.  I saw it in her eyes.  I know she didn't want to hurt my feelings by returning the greeting, because I don't have children, and she felt really awkward.  I felt bad that it caused her to feel this way, but it didn't offend me.  I wish that she knew that I truly believe I am a mother.  I can’t speak for all single women, or married women without children, but I appreciate it when someone wishes me a Happy Mother’s Day.  I feel like those who acknowledge that I do mother, truly are sensitive to my deepest desire and having taken note of ways that I have tried to reach out to children in my sphere of influence.  

     Like I said, I can't speak for all women who do not have their own children, but tomorrow when you see someone who maybe a little sensitive because it is Mother's Day, I would suggest not ignoring them, but showing love and compassion and saying a little prayer in your heart that you can say the right thing for them at that moment.  Reminding us that no blessing will be withheld from us if we are righteous, although most of us believe this, saying this to us tomorrow might not be thing that will help our hearts not to hurt in our longing for our own children right now.  Every woman may be feeling something and different.  Maybe the woman you sit next to in church needs to you put your arm around her and simply acknowledge that she is there (I know some women who do not go to church on Mother's Day because it is too painful), or maybe she needs you to mourn with her a moment and acknowledge that she may be hurting, or maybe she would love for you to acknowledge that she IS a mother.  God knows her and He can help you know how to help her feel loved.  

     To all the Mothers in the world, Happy Mother's Day!

"As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers and we have always been mothers."

                    -Sister Sheri Dew    Ensign   November 2001

Decade of Fun

     When I turned 30, I anticipated the worst. I didn't expect to be 30 and not married.  That morning, I woke up and after saying my personal prayers, I had a moment.  I sat down with my journal and I took time to reflect over my 30 years of mortality.  Thirty years ago--what the morning must be have been like for my mother when she held her brand new baby girl for the first time.  I’m sure I was the most beautiful baby she had ever seen or held.  Of course.  I had long, dark hair and thick side burns.  What were her emotions like that day?  As she looked into her tiny baby’s eyes, what did she dream I would become?  Could she sense what I would accomplish in life and where my life would take me?  I felt the sweetness of that moment as I pondered on the bonding that takes place when a mother first sees her newborn child.   Had I become what she imagined?  What had I done with the last thirty years?  With gratitude, I pondered on the many opportunities I had been blessed with in my life.
       Although marriage and child had not yet been part of my course, I had many moments and relationships to be grateful for.  I wept that morning.  Tears didn't fall from feeling sorry for myself, but they fell out of gratitude for the miracle of life and the miracles I had experience in my life. 

      On your next birthday, whether it is a decade turnover or not, I challenge you to take some time away and don’t wallow in what might have been, but relish on what HAS been in your life.  Take the time to write it down.  Open your heart and allow God to show you His hand in your life. 

       I recently turned 40.  What helped me get through this one?  Well, I decided I would feel better if I had ice cream for lunch every day the whole week before my birthday.  Yep, it helped.  My advice for 40, fill your day with things you love to do, food you love to eat, and people you love to be with.  Fill your whole birthday week with those things. 

      On my birthday, I had a dear friend take a short flight with me to see my sister and some of my nieces and nephews.  It was a SkyWest flight with only four passengers—we were two of them! 

       My darling sister arranged for her neighbor ladies and neighborhood kids to come to a birthday party for me.   We also ate with the kids at school—now I don’t necessarily recommend eating school lunch on your 40^th--we brought IN our lunch. 

      I had another friend pick us up from the airport and we had INDIAN food for dinner.  One word: YUM. 

      I made sure I went snowshoeing with some dear friends that week to also celebrate.  I wanted to celebrate the things I love with the people that I love.   

      

       I felt very blessed to have many people do kind things for me for this birthday.  Thank you, to all of you.

      The day of my birthday, I was OK and happy—I had too many things planned to be sad.  Now, the day after, when I stopped to think about being 40 and not married, I got a little emotional.  I really didn't think I’d make it through my 30’s without being married.   This was not my plan.  I should have been going to PTA meetings and doing Science Fair Projects.  I should have been preparing kids for bedtime and missions.   I allowed myself to feel heartache and sorrow.  However, I knew I had to deal with it and be OK with it. 

      So, I decided to make a list of 100 things I did or experienced in my 30’s.  I am truly humbled and feel so blessed for so many wonderful opportunities.  Here is my list:  

1. Started Annual Neil Diamond B-day party
2. Fell in love with Harry Potter series
3. Dressed as Harry Potter for the Days of 47 Parade and signed autographs for Harry Potter
4. Stayed in a Yurt
5. Learned to love Indian Food
6. Road Trip to Canada two times with dear friends
7. Trip to Chile
8. Trip to London
9. Saw the Eiffel Tower
10. Saw the British Pageant
11. Visited Harry Potter Movie Studio on London
12. Was introduced to Tim Tam Slams—Have since introduced many others to TTS
13. Ward Camp Director
14. Stake Camp Director
15. Stake Relief Society Presidency Member
16. Ward Young Women’s Presidency Member
17. Ward Young Women’s President
18. New hobby: Snowshoeing
19. Bought eight pairs of snowshoes
20. Master’s Degree in Fine Arts Administration
21. Taught Seminary full-time
22. Worked at Hale Centre Theatre
23. Worked in Early Intervention
24. Taught a preschool Mom and Tot’s Music Class
25. Worked as a Speech Technician in elementary school
26. Landed my nephew a lead role in a World Wide Training film
27. Played the part of “Scrooge” and “Thelma” in Farndale Ave. Christmas Carol
28. Directed community production of Singin’ in the Rain
29. Played “Miss Scarlet” in Clue
30. Hospitality Team Leader for BYU Woman’s Conference
31. Directed several youth musicals
32. Spoke at a Tri-Stake Women’s Conference
33. Helped with the Nauvoo Pageant three years
34. Received a Post Bachelor’s Degree in Communications Disorders
35. Visited several more temples to total over fifty-five
36. Worked on a project with the General Young Women’s Presidency and Board
37. Recovered from “white board incident” and arm surgery
38. Played “Rita La Porta” in Lucky Stiff
39. Performed in a Dinner Theatre
40. Discovered Girl Scout Thin Mint Chocolate Ice Cream
41. Attended 4-H Camp with two of my nieces
42. Visited five temples in one day with my oldest nephew
43. Attended  five Temple Dedications and six Temple Open Houses
44. Took my nephew on a Church History trip to Kansas City, Missouri and attended the Temple Open House
45. Took my oldest niece on a Church History trip to Kirtland, Ohio
46. Discovered the joy of gardening
47. Discovered Dave Ramsey
48. Started a dedicated savings account for Christmas
49. Started a blog
50. Created Visiting Teaching Motivational videos
51. Spoke at EFY in AZ, ID, UT, TX, Canada
52. Spoke for “Making in Count” in NM, UT, NV
53. Nannied for my friend, Mindy, for a month after she gave birth to twins and had two boys under the age of three
54. Attended my friend, Karen’s, Marriage and Motherhood classes
55. Created and became Mildew Rose (an official Gardner Village Witch)
56. Create a Buddy the Elf costume—started annual visits at Christmas to two elementary schools
57. Spoke at Nauvoo West Women’s Retreat
58. Sang in “We Also Sing” Choir
59. Went a blind date  road trip across the country
60. Visited Boston
61. Saw Joseph Smith’s Birth place
62. Traveled to Georgia to visit a friend and see a friend play “Eliza Doolittle”
63. Discovered Rudy’s in TX
64. Discovered Hot Chocolate Lava Cake at Bravo!
65. Hiked Mt. Olympus
66. Built a school in Kenya
67. Did Yoga for the first time in Kenya
68. Went on an African Safari in Kenya
69. Started early morning walking with friends
70. Taught a 70 year old woman to snowshoe
71. Hung out with members of a boy band--Beyond 5
72. Was declared second BFF by a 10 year old
73. Oldest niece got married
74. Oldest nephew went on a mission
75. Blessed with 13 more nieces and nephews
76. Learned to text
77. Got a Facebook account
78. Taught a children’s singing group
79. Played Hot Cross Buns on the recorder for two friends running in a Marathon
80. Ran my first 5K
81. Did a Triathlon (canoeing leg)
82. Directed/Coordinated a Student Stake Celebration of the life of Joseph Smith
83. My five-year old niece wanted a “Melanie” themed B-day Party
84. Received flowers from an world class ice speed skater just after he broke a world’s record
85. Became a Ropes Course Facilitator
86. Started a Special Olympics team in Cedar City
87. Saw ORIGINAL Broadway cast of  Wicked   (Have now seen it five times)
88. Saw Lion King…again
89. Saw Warhorse
90. Went on a cruise with my family
91. My parents went on a mission
92. Won diapers for a year for a family
93. Worked at Utah Shakespearean Festival
94. Saw California Redwood trees
95. Visited Oregon Coast
96. Made first digital photo book
97. Went on CES Pioneer Trails Workshop
98. Saw 2 real reindeer in Wyoming
99. Went huckleberry picking
100. Volunteered in Salt Lake Temple Baptistery and St. George Temple Children’s Waiting room

Because I have been given much, I too must give.  

Things I Would Miss

      Last year my mission companion turned forty and went to get a mammogram.  Cancer.  Ugh.  She has four children and has really been thorough the ringer (no pun intended) with treatments and surgery.  Although it has been a rough go, she is not shy to encourage everyone to get their routine mammogram.
I scheduled mine for the week of my birthday.  Oh, so much fun.  Not.  I had to laugh that the waiting area resembles a spa.
     After my "fun" I went to change out of the of beautifully attractive hospital gown.  There was one other woman in the waiting area.  As I tried to open my locker where my clothes resided, I couldn't get the key to work.  I tried several times.  It wouldn't open.  I was sure that I had the right locker.  The key went in the keyhole, but would not turn.  Remember how I am in a nice hospital gown?  Yeah, well I had to use one hand to keep the gown closed to avoid from exposing myself and struggle with the other hand trying to get the key to work.  The other waiting room lady must have thought I was a real idiot--I mean it is not rocket science to open a simple locker with a key, right?  She was probably thinking I had the wrong locker, but I didn't, OK, lady?  Was I supposed to waltz out of the waiting area and ask the receptionist for help in my stunning attire?  I was starting to sweat, when I took out the key--which fit perfectly inside the key hole--and put the key in backwards.  It worked.  What the?  How often have you put in a key that fits both ways into a keyhole?  Ugh.  People, don't do that in a waiting area in a woman's center that is already filled with awkward feelings!   As I left the "spa" I saw a CD player.  I lifted the lid and chuckled as I saw the CD:  Yanni!  As I strolled out, I turned up the volume button and pressed play--surely Yanni would lighten the tenseness of the visit for others.  I laughed at my cleverness as I left. 
     The next week, I got a call from my regular doctor...the doctor from the mammogram office called my regular doctor to tell her that he found something that concerned him from my testing.  I was requested to go in for "further testing."  They had found some asymmetrical cell tissue.  I was not expecting that phone call!  Super unsettling.
     The day after I received the call, although I tried to suppress my thoughts, I kept imagining what the "further testing" would entail and why I needed "further testing."  I couldn't concentrate and I was a little emotional all day.  Well, I had my "follow-up exam" for "further testing" and the doctor said the abnormalities were just lymph nodes.  Big fat PHEW!   I guess many women are called back for "further testing" after their first mammogram because often there may be something found that appears abnormal and the medical staff don't have any information to compare to previous x-rays.  What might be normal for one person, may not be normal for another person.
     Before I found out "my normal" was normal for me, I started to think about what would happen if I had cancer?  Have I lived the life I needed to live?  What could I have done different to avoid cancer?  My thoughts became consumed with the wonderment of the human body.  Our bodies are truly a gift.  I know after we die, some day, we will all be resurrected, because of Christ's Atonement.  I know this.  However, something I don't know is how long we will have to wait to be resurrected.  That will happen after Christ comes again.  If I died today, I don't know how long my spirit will be without my body.  I also don't know what a spirit can do without a body.  As I was pondering on this, I started thinking of all the things I am grateful I can do with my body.  I think the human body is under-rated.  Just take a minute and think of the wonders the human body can do and all we can experience because we have one.

These are some things that I will miss when I no longer have a body:

• Giving hugs
• Receiving hugs
• Eating cotton candy and feeling the texture on my tongue
• Eating cookie dough
• Eating brownie batter
• Putting Blitex on chapped lips
• Going snowshoeing
• Sleeping on super fluffy feather pillows
• Sleeping with super cuddly blankets
• Hot showers
• Smelling brownies cooking 
• The moment right after I brush my teeth
• The texture  and taste of chips and salsa
• Wearing socks 
• Wearing slippers
• The crunch of freshly picked green beans
• Riding on Tower of Terror 
• Going on walks
• Canoeing
• Watching a sunset
• Smelling clean laundry
• Listening to good music
• Snowboarding
• Eating Tim Tams and the melting yumminess of a Tim Tam Slam on my tongue
• Smelling campfire
• Eating Oreos dunked in milk
• Driving a car
• Endorphins released while laughing
• Licking ice cream
• Smelling homemade bread fresh out of the oven
• Holding a microphone and speaking in front of a crowd
• Taking power naps
• Wearing sweat shirts
• Smelling Bath and Body Works lotions
• The zing of cilantro and lime together
• Back massages
• Singing 
• Lotion on my hands
• Good hair days
• Smelling lilacs
• Crunching fall leaves under my feet during Autumn
• Eating Indian Food
• Kissing babies

    I'm glad my "further testing" proved normal for me and I am glad I will continue to be able to enjoy the many things listed above.  This experience has deepened my appreciation for the gift of my body.   

What will you miss when you no longer have your body?

     “We are dual beings. Each soul is comprised of body and spirit, both of which emanate from God. A firm understanding of body and spirit will shape our thoughts and deeds for good.

      The marvel of our physical bodies is often overlooked. Who has not encountered feelings of low self-esteem because of physique or appearance? Many people wish their bodies could be more to their liking. Some with naturally straight hair want it curly. Others with curly hair want it straight. Occasionally some ladies, believing that “gentlemen prefer blonds,” become “decided blonds.”

      Your body, whatever its natural gifts, is a magnificent creation of God. It is a tabernacle of flesh—a temple for your spirit. A study of your body attests to its divine design.”        --Elder Russell M. Nelson, General Conference   October 1998   

 (Great talk about the wonders of the human body, including the heart, the ear, the skin, etc.  Read this talk for greater appreciation of your body.)

Valentine's Awkward Moment

     A few weeks ago, I was getting some ice at Taco Time because they have that yummy small pellet crunchy ice that you can't get anywhere else--it goes perfect in "Young Women Punch" or Neil Diamond "Love on the Rocks Punch" (I will disclose the recipe below). As I was waiting, I noticed on the counter some small pieces of paper and a sign for a Taco Time Drawing.  Sweet!
     Some where in my DNA make-up is a gene that increases blood flow every time there is a contest or drawing.  Blood flows faster and heart rate increases as out family sees an opportunity to enter.  Not only do we feel a need to enter contests, we often WIN.  In fact, we started a blog that logs all of our winnings (let me know if you want the link).   We have won gift cards, milk for a year, concert tickets, movie premiere tickets, etc.
     Upon seeing the drawing papers, I knew I needed to enter.  There was some Valentine contest and some weekly free meal drawing.  So, of course, I entered both.
     Last week I got a message that I won!  Wahoo!  I called the lady to claim my prize and here's where the awkward moment arises...I won the "Dinner for Lovers."  Um, I don't really have a lover.  The win includes a three course catered meal (I was excited about the free food), a bouquet of flowers for the "lady" of the couple, and a photo of the couple so it could be displayed in the resturant with thier story.   How could I tell the nice lady that I didn't have a spouse, significant other, or even a date?  I thought, maybe I would just bring a friend, but that wouldn't look right for a "Lover's Dinner."  I thought, maybe I could take my dad?  Yeah, that wouldn't look right either--besides, he's on a cruise.  What now?  So, I am giving the winning to a friend whose husband is out of work.  I'm just sad about missing the free food.  :)  
     Although there are awkward moments as a single person, and some of them may happen around Valentine's Day, there are also moments to love and be loved.  If you read my blog last year in February, you heard about a new tradition I started for myself for Valentine's Day.  Yesterday, I gave flowers to two co-workers who are going through some rough times and I'm sure this year's Valentine's Day will not be their favorite.  What a sweet experience it was to see their faces when they saw the flowers.  I don't know if it made their day, but it sure made mine!  

     Who needs your love or friendship this year on Valentine Day?  How can you show them someone cares?


Here is the recipe I mentioned-

YW/Love on the Rocks Punch:
2   2 Liter Bottles of Diet Grapefruit Shasta
1    Can White Grape Juice Concentrate
1    Bag of Taco Time Ice

Mix and serve in large punch bowl--surprise all your guests with this yummy beverage they won't forget! 



“I believe that for most of us the best medicine for loneliness is work, service in behalf of others. I do not minimize your problems, but I do not hesitate to say that there are many others whose problems are more serious than are yours. Reach out to serve them, to help them, to encourage them. There are so many boys and girls who fail in school for want of a little personal attention and encouragement. There are so many elderly people who live in misery and loneliness and fear for whom a simple conversation would bring a measure of hope and happiness.”  -President Gordon B. Hinckley    General Conference October 1996

Christmas Tears

     For the Christmas holidays, I visited my youngest sister and her family.  We had a nativity on Christmas Eve, opened presents Christmas morning, and then we went to my sister's in-laws' house for a few days.

     Sometimes I remember to bring fun activities or books read with my nieces and nephews--sometimes I forget.  This time I remembered to pack some Christmas books to read together.  These simple picture books provided one of the sweetest moments I had this year for Christmas.  After waking up, some of my nieces wanted to cuddle with me on Nana's couch.  It was a perfect moment for story time.  Snuggled up close, toasty in our Christmas PJ's and new blankets from Nana, I started to read.  I looked over and a pair of pail blues eyes were looking up at us.  This blue eyed six year old was my sister's niece whose mother passed away in May from breast cancer.  I invited her to join us and after a little coaxing, she snuggled right in.  My heart almost burst as I realized, she didn't have a mommy to cuddle with and read stories.  How long before her mom passed away did she have a moment like this?  It was as if her little spirit was craving a mother figure's affection.  My eyes watered and my voice cracked as I realized what was happening in this moment.  I wanted to cuddle her closer and read stories with these little girls all day.  Nothing else mattered at that moment.  God gave me the gift of mothering at that moment to a six year old girl who so desperately needed it.  We both needed it. 

     The previous day I purchased items to make Rice Krispie Treats with Christmas M&M's.  I started to pour the marshmallows into the bowl when the blue-eyed six year old entered the kitchen.  She looked up at me with curious, shy eyes and I asked if she wanted to help.  A quick, silent nod.  I asked her if she had ever make Rice Krispie Treats.  With a furrowed brow and look to the floor, the answer and nod of the head to indicate "no." My heart broke again.  Who will make RKT with this six year old?  Who will she learn to cook from?  Who will take her shopping?  Who will tuck her in a night when Dad has to work late or is helping older brother or sister with homework?  Her sweet dad is doing a great job--he really is a wonderful father who is now trying to be both parents, while grieving himself.  Doing this holiday thing alone is new--he is trying to figure out how to make it work.

     Christmas without her mom.  What would that be like for a six year old?  I reflected on her first concern when her mother passed away, "But who will plan my birthday party now?"    I caught myself looking at her and her older brother (eight years old) and sister (twelve years old)  several times throughout week with wet eyes. What daily challenges do they face that are multiplied because they don't have a mother to kiss their "owies" all better?  I just wanted to hug them forever. 

     The next day, my top priority was to make sure we made cookies together.  I couldn't let the week to pass without making sure she had the chance to do what mommies do with their little girls--make cookies.  The other little girls were also anxious to help.  Eight eager hands made making cookies a bit challenging and messy and I loved every minute of it.  My heart broke and eyes watered as this adopted blue-eyed niece (adopted by me) said,  "I haven't made cookies in for forever.  I don't ever make cookies with my dad."  I was so grateful I acted upon the thought to make her feel special and create a Christmas memory with her. 

     My favorite gift this Christmas was a few short mothering moments to three children who missed their own mother.


        "In my experience I have seen that some of the truest mother hearts beat in the breasts of women who will not rear their own children in this life, but they know that “all things must come to pass in their time” and that they “are laying the foundation of a great work” (D&C 64:32–33)."  -Sister Julie B. Beck, "A Mother Heart," General Conference, April 2004

Home Teachers to the Rescue!

     Last month I finally got Home Teachers.  Instead of waiting for them to set an appointment with me, I set an appointment with them.  I think sometimes HT don't realize how important it is to single women to have diligent home teachers who actually make a monthly home visit.  Oh, wait, isn't that how it is supposed to be?  Yes, even if an individual or family is doing well, or appears to be doing well, Home Teaching is important.  I have a friend whose marriage and family life appears to be honkey dorey from the outside, but inside the home, the marriage is struggling and testimonies are faltering.  Her Home Teacher came over last month (first time they'd had Home Teachers in several months) and he left a General Conference talk and a challenge.  He had no idea that his simple challenge changed that family.
       I'm sure you are curious about MY new Home Teachers and the title to this blog post.  Well, they came over, as scheduled by me, shared a nice message and asked if there was anything they could do for me.  At the moment, I had nothing, but I assured them I would find something.  Yesterday, I found something.  A dead bird!  Gross!  A dead bird on my back porch.  Ugh.  I have no idea where it came from (well, yeah, the sky, but why was it on my porch?).  I almost puked.  The thought of picking it up caused me to dry heave and run into the house for fresh air that didn't have dead bird air wafting close to my nostrils.  How in the world was I going to get rid of it?  Oh, wait, I was not going to get rid of it...this was a job for the Home Teachers!  Yes!  I had found something for them to do.   I knew they would be thrilled with an opportunity to serve!
        So this afternoon, I called one of my HT's wife's.  I told her about the dead bird on the porch and asked if he could help out.  She assured me her husband could take care of it and as we tried to coordinate schedules, we decided I didn't need to be home and he could come through the back gate and take care of the deceased.
       I got home from work and two of the popsicle kids came over for candy and to look at my garden they helped tend while I was traveling this summer.  I noticed the bird was gone.  Hooray!  The Home Teacher was quick about his daring duty. 
     Now, you may call me a whimp or a sissy, I will proudly claim those titles.  I don't know if I am physically able to handle disposing of a dead bird.  I continue to dry heaved writing this post. 
      I went merrily on my way to our Young Women's activity and after, I received this text from the HT's wife:
           
      Hey, my husband just got back from your house.  I thought you said it was a bird but he said it was a kitten.  I could have misheard you...I have a hard time understanding other people on the phone.

My response:

     Ah!  It WAS a bird!  It was gone so I thought he came!  Was there a dead cat?!?  EWWWWWWWWWWW!   Did it eat the dead bird ???

Her response:

        Yes, it was a dead kitten.  Maybe the kitten ate the bird.


     Gagging sounds coming from me.   What in the heck?  I had a dead bird AND a dead cat in my back yard!?!?   I had no idea there was a pet cemetery in my backyard.  What a nightmare.   All I have to say is THANK HEAVENS FOR HOME TEACHERS!



"If you’ll think about the families you visit, those of you who are blessed to be called home teachers, you know the help they need is beyond your casual effort."  Elder Henry B. Eyring, April 1998