When I Grow Up

       A few weeks ago was Red Ribbon Week at one of the schools where I work.  Every day there was some kind of dress up day—Crazy Socks Day, Favorite Sports Team Day, Wear Red Day, etc.  I am kind of a nerd and I have always loved dress up days.  In Junior High I was really bugged by the cheerleaders who planned Spirit Week and all the dress up days, but not once did they dress up—too embarrassing I guess.  Well, I was not embarrassed, I secretly basked in the attention.       

         One of the dress up days for Red Ribbon Week was “Dress Like What You Want to Be When You Grow Up.”  I’ve always known what I want to be when I grow up…a mother.  

          So, when does one officially grow up?  Am I considered a grown-up?  I am nearing the end of my thirties.  What if I still want to be a mother?  Does that mean I’m not grown-up yet?  Do you have to have children to be considered a grown-up?  Do you have to have a real job?  I never wanted to work.  This is a huge rip off  single women face (unfortunately this is also a rip off for mothers who  would like to stay at home with their children but for various reason are prohibited from doing so).  When my sisters take all their kids to the zoo, I have to go to work.  I want to take kids to the park, change diapers, be a Room Mother, chauffeur kids to soccer practice and ballet, etc.--not go off to work everyday!  I never wanted a career.  I actually HATE that word.  Am I considered a career women because I am not a stay-at-home mom?  Or, does a career women need to work in an office building?  I’m actually glad I don’t do that—glad I work with children every day.    

          For Red Ribbon Week, I decided to be bold and dress like a mom.  I didn’t have much time to come up with a costume and I contemplated what to wear to show that I was a mom—what I want to be when I grow up.  (Do you have to be over 5'3 to be grown up?  Cause I’m only 5'2 so maybe I’m still not a grown-up yet--phew).   What makes someone look like a mom—besides a pregnant belly?  I really didn’t want to go that route.  

          So, I made a cape—a Super Mom cape.  Let’s face it—they are the Super Heroes of the world!  In fact, as I went into various classrooms, some students asked if I was a super hero.  I told them I was BETTER than a super hero.  They didn't see the words on my cape yet and they were curious.  As they each told me what they were dressed to be, I said I was also that person.  Then I turned around and showed them my cape... 

• A Doctor or Nurse—yes, mom’s help sick kids feel better. 
• An Inventor—you better believe it that mom’s are inventors—they have to invent answers to questions, solutions to problems, and behavior interventions daily.
• A Scientist—they do experiments everyday--some cooking experiments go better than others, I suppose.
• A Teacher—they are the most influential teacher  in a child’s life and they are often caught doing homework.
• A Firefighter—if they have more than one child, they are daily putting out fires between siblings.
• A Business Person--hey have to make budget proposals, make purchases, sort through mail, and they lead the most influential organization in the country--the home.
• A Dentist--not only do moms have to devise a way to actually get their kids to brush their teeth, they have to come up with creative excuses for why the Tooth Fairy may have missed a night (I have seen this happen before...dreadful mistake, Tooth Fairy!  You must never forget or miss!)

The list goes on....

           TO ALL YOU MOTHERS OUT THERE…you are the Super Heroes of the world.  Hug your children extra tight tonight because you have them.  There are many women, like myself, that are longing to grow up and experience the joys and challenges you face daily. 

            “When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?”  Elder Neal A. Maxwell, Ensign, May 1978.

“Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail.”  Sister Sheri Dew, Ensign, November 2001

        TO ALL WOMEN WITHOUT CHILDREN, God knows our heart ache.   He knows our longing to cradle loved ones.  Sister Sheri Dew gave a talked entitled, “Are We Not All Mothers” in the November 2001 General Relief Society Broadcast.  Every woman should re-read this talk.  It has blessed my life on many occasions.  Sister Dew explains about the divine role of motherhood is not solely claimed by those who bear children,

              “Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us…For reasons known to the Lord, some women are required to wait to have children. This delay is not easy for any righteous woman. But the Lord’s timetable for each of us does not negate our nature. Some of us, then, must simply find other ways to mother. And all around us are those who need to be loved and led…

             As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers and we have always been mothers. And we each have the responsibility to love and help lead the rising generation….

              Every one of us can mother someone—beginning, of course, with the children in our own families but extending far beyond. Every one of us can show by word and by deed that the work of women in the Lord’s kingdom is magnificent and holy. I repeat: We are all mothers in Israel, and our calling is to love and help lead the rising generation through the dangerous streets of mortality."       Sister Sheri Dew, Ensign, November 2001 “Are We Not All Mothers”  
                
        I highly recommend reading this talk!   Satan’s armies are attacking like never before and we can’t bear to stand and watch causalities that we could have helped, but didn’t because we were not their mothers.  Children need to be told they are good and loved and capable.  The mothers of today need more help than ever before.  They need validation—we can support them by letting them know they are doing a great a work.  We can support them by loving their children.  We can support them by finding ways to use our God-given gift of nurturing to strengthen their children through these troubled times. 

        On Mother’s Day, we can proudly stand and receive a plant in Sacrament Meeting!  We are all mothers. Some of us just need to be a little creative and seek for ways to magnify our God-given roles.      

         I have strived to be better at remembering birthdays.  I try to remember some of the names of the primary kids and make them feel special.   I substituted sweet Molly's Sunbeam class a few times and she is my little buddy now.  Buddy the Elf said "I just love smiling.  Smiling's my favorite."  My "favorite" is seeing Molly wave across the chapel at me!

       When there is a special occasion for my friends' children, such as a baptism or a performance, I have tried to attend and show support.  My mission companion invited me to her son’s junior high musical last month.  I didn’t know it meant so much for him to have me come, but he asked his mom this year, “ So, is Sister Kieffer coming?”  I didn’t think he even remembered me coming last year, but I apparently it made an impression on him and he expected me to come this year. 

   

        Last week I was on Facetime with my nieces and I told one of them to stop growing--she was getting too big, too fast.  Her little sister said, "She is growing up so she can be a mom!  When I grow up, I want to be an aunt--just like you!"   Completely melted my heart!  I LOVE being an Aunt.  Hailey, I hope some day you also have the privilege of being an aunt and I hope you receive as much joy as I do from this sacred responsibility.  In honoring your role as an aunt, you will honor your role as mother.  We don’t have to wait until we grow up to be what we want to be. 

 

I am grateful to be a "mother" to these children. 
(I made this video for an EFY talk about Motherhood a while ago).