Mother's Day Mishaps

     A few years ago, my friend was attending a family ward and her Bishop, bless his heart, approached this day without careful consideration.  He wasn't sure what to do with “the single people” in his ward.  Because there was a condo complex, he had several “singles.”  He thought he had a great idea…get the single sisters involved by having them be the ones to pass out the flowers for the Mother’s Day gift after Sacrament Meeting to all the mothers.  True story!  I’m sure his intentions were innocent and well-intended, but really???  Dear Bishop, how much salt can you rub into a festering cankered  open wound??  Please be sensitive to those of us whose hearts  break a little every second Sunday in May.    

    Although I believe, as Sheri Dew said in 2001  “we are all mothers” and we should proudly stand with other mothers and accept our Mother’s Day gift with pride, there have been moments of awkwardness in the past, like when the thirteen year old boy with the plant approached my row.  His eye brow furrowed as he realized I was not married and didn't have kids.  Um.  Uh.  What should he do?  He was instructed to "give them to all the Mothers."  I wasn't mother, so maybe his should pass up my row.  As I reached out my hand to accept it, he pulled back.  Poor little guy.  And poor me!  I laugh now, but it was not one of my most favorite moments. 

    Please prepare the youth, or whoever is passing out the Mother’s Day gifts and let them know they should pass a gift to ALL the women—prevent a Mother’s Day mishap. 

     Last year, with an effort to not feel sorry for myself and feeling truly grateful for good mothers, I was wishing the dear women at my church a Happy Mother’s Day as I greeted them.  One lady, bless her heart, thanked me and went to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day as well, but hesitated.  I saw it in her eyes.  I know she didn't want to hurt my feelings by returning the greeting, because I don't have children, and she felt really awkward.  I felt bad that it caused her to feel this way, but it didn't offend me.  I wish that she knew that I truly believe I am a mother.  I can’t speak for all single women, or married women without children, but I appreciate it when someone wishes me a Happy Mother’s Day.  I feel like those who acknowledge that I do mother, truly are sensitive to my deepest desire and having taken note of ways that I have tried to reach out to children in my sphere of influence.  

     Like I said, I can't speak for all women who do not have their own children, but tomorrow when you see someone who maybe a little sensitive because it is Mother's Day, I would suggest not ignoring them, but showing love and compassion and saying a little prayer in your heart that you can say the right thing for them at that moment.  Reminding us that no blessing will be withheld from us if we are righteous, although most of us believe this, saying this to us tomorrow might not be thing that will help our hearts not to hurt in our longing for our own children right now.  Every woman may be feeling something and different.  Maybe the woman you sit next to in church needs to you put your arm around her and simply acknowledge that she is there (I know some women who do not go to church on Mother's Day because it is too painful), or maybe she needs you to mourn with her a moment and acknowledge that she may be hurting, or maybe she would love for you to acknowledge that she IS a mother.  God knows her and He can help you know how to help her feel loved.  

     To all the Mothers in the world, Happy Mother's Day!

"As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers and we have always been mothers."

                    -Sister Sheri Dew    Ensign   November 2001