How Old Is Your Daughter?

     Conversation starters between women often begin with: "How many children do you have?"  When I pose this question, I am genuinely interested in finding out.  When the the question is asked of me, however, sometimes there is an moment of awkward silence when I respond, "None, I'm not married."  The other woman usually doesn't know how to respond to this and conversation stops for a moment. There is a look in her eye that hints that she doesn't know if she hurt my feelings by asking and she tries to quickly change the subject. I have found other ways to respond that question, in my attempt to avoid the thick silence that I know will permeate after she finds out I am childless.   So, when I am asked, "And, how many children do you have?"  I often respond, "I don't know!"  I have received some pretty weird looks until I finish, "I'm not sure, 'cause they are all still in heaven--I haven't found their daddy yet."  (I mean, their daddy hasn't found me!)

        In my church, I serve with the youth group, particularly the girls ages 12-18.  I LOVE it!  I love the girls and the other leaders I serve with--the girls organization is called "Young Women's." (YW)  Each week I attend their class at church and we also have a week night activity.  I have really enjoyed getting to know the girls.  Spending time with them has truly been one of the greatest blessings in my life.  

         One thing I started recently, I offer to give a ride to any of the YW that would like to go to the temple before school.  The temple has blessed my life so much that I want to make sure they can get there--especially the ones too young to drive themselves.  So, I designated one morning a week to offer a ride to any of them that can come.  (While I was there last week, I over heard one of the temple workers say that 800 ordinances had been performed by the youth before 7:00 a.m. that morning!)  

         A few days ago, I was at the temple in the wee hours of the morning with one of my YW,   (I will call her "M").   Another girl that was in the temple saw me talking to M and asked, "How old is your daughter?"  I told her that M was not my daughter, I was just her YW leader.  I kept hearing that question in my head all day, "How old is your daughter?"   That might have hurt someone else's feelings--digging deeper the wounds of unfulfilled dreams, but I took it as a deep compliment.  I love M!  I would love her to be my daughter.  I would love to be her mom.  

     I love all of my YW--as if they were my own daughters.  I claim them all--they are mine!   Because I have more freedom with my time, I can do things, like take them to the temple in the morning--in fact, if I did have my own teenage daughters, that is exactly what I would be doing with them!  I am so grateful to have 16 daughters!  I may not have given birth to them, but they are mine.  I have a deep love for them.  I want them to be happy.  I want them to succeed.   I want them to feel loved.  I want them to feel God's love for them.   I want them to develop a love for Jesus Christ and an understanding of what He has done for them.  With them, I have hiked, camped, snowshoed, sang, toilet papered, cooked, danced, laughed, cried, served, had deep spiritual conversations, played practical jokes, and more--all of which I dreamed I would do with my own daughters.  

      A few years ago, I lived in another city and I served in YW in another congregation.  Even though I didn't serve for very long, I still count those girls as MINE.  Some of them are in their 20's now...one of them has her mission call to Peru!

      I am grateful that the mothers of my YW have shared their daughters with me.  This Mother's Day, I am grateful for the privilege and opportunity to mother MY daughters.  How old is my daughter?  Well, I have several...they are between 12 and 18...and some in their 20's.  

"As daughters of God and disciples of Jesus Christ, we [must] 'act according to those sympathies which God has planted' in our hearts. Our sphere of influence isn’t limited to our own family members.....'whenever a woman strengthens the faith of a child, she contributes to the strength of a family—now and in the future.' "

  -Sister Carole M. Stephens, General Woman's Session of General Conference  April 2015 

PS If you missed them, here are my Mother's Day posts from last year (it was fun for me to revisit them):

Mother's Day Thoughts 

Mother's Day Mishaps