A few years ago, my niece, Taya kept
telling my sister, “You need to have twin baby girls, Mom. You can name one of them McKayla and the
other Kayla. You can take care of one
and I will take care of the other.” How
thoughtful! When her mom asked what would
happen if one was a boy, Taya retorted that her mom would have to take care of
the boy and she’d take care of the girl.
If there were two boys…her mom would be on her own to take care of both
of them. Daily petitions in prayer were
sent to heaven for these twins by the, hopeful, older sister.
When my sister called to tell me
she thought she was pregnant (but not with twins), I was overjoyed! My favorite things on this planet are my
nieces and nephews. However, when I hung
up the phone, I felt an overwhelming curtain of sadness and remorse. My sisters have all had their children and this
child would most likely be the last of my siblings’ babies. I was pretty sure that they were all
done. It was too late for me and my
children—time had run out. My children
will not grow up with their cousins. I missed
the boat and I didn’t even give my children a chance to get on the boat. Their ship was sunk before they had a chance
to ride. Deep sorrow loomed. I wasn’t necessarily feeling sorry for me,
but for my possible unborn babes! I
loved growing up with my cousins and the relationships and memories we
created. Perhaps even more endearing are
the relationships my nieces and nephews are developing with each other.
For example, in the summer of 1999,
three of my sisters all had baby boys--June, July, and August. Along with sharing pregnancy stories, after the
babies were born, they all toted babies in car seats to my mom’s house and
McDonalds. Those three boys love each
other. They have been raised together. One nephew said his cousin was
his best buddy in the whole world. Who
will be my children’s ‘best buddies?”
Previous thoughts of “no same age
cousins” have loomed over me, but this time, the reality seemed larger, like a
sunken hopelessness. My prolonged singleness will prohibit rare relationships
that could have occurred between my children and my siblings’ children. When I take my children to the park, (if we
ever get to the park) they will be swinging and sliding as their cousins are
filling out scholarship applications and shining shoes for missionary service. Although I don’t let the thought of no same
age cousins consume me, it is a reality of being in my late thirties and single,
and it really bites. (Did I really just
use that phrase?)
However, I
guess the silver lining of the cousin cloud can be found in the fact that my
oldest niece just got married—my kids can grow up with her kids! I told her she can’t start having kids before
I do…well, she is married and I am not…I don’t know how long that will
last!
Having taught some of your darling nieces and nephews in Primary, I can attest to the fact that they absolutely adore you. They seem to look to you as the one that no only spoils them with fun excitement and treats, but also as one who assists their parents in teaching the kids the gospel. They seem to look to you as an example and guide and I'm sure they are learning much from your amazing life of service and love!
ReplyDeleteI have had those exact same thoughts!! I also grew up very close to my cousins and most of us have another cousin our same age. Two of my sisters have kids that are close in age and those kids play so well together and have so much fun with their cousins.
ReplyDeleteMy youngest sister and I were the lone singles for a while. We always talked about how we would have to plan to have our kids at the same time and that they would grow up together.
Well, she has since gotten married and now has two kids. If I don't seriously hurry, that ship will have sailed for me and my kids as as well. Yes, it bites!!